Note: everything below is directly from an email I wrote to my then-girlfriend in 2013. I fixed one minor typo but the rest is verbatim.

Hi babe,

As my confidence in the company’s future lessens, I’ve begun exploring alternatives.

I was thinking I might even try writing a book! For my first stab, I thought I’d detail some principles of this new management style I’ve been observing.

There are ten principles (summarized below), so I thought maybe I’d dedicate a chapter to each, add in an Introduction, Conclusion, and—of course—Acknowledgements. I might even be able to find a well-respected leader to write a Foreword!

To me, that sounds like about the right formula to top the New York Times “Business Bestsellers” list. What do you think?

Kidding of course,

Ryan

* * *

I now present:

Ten Management Principles for Unorthodox Success

[I might need help on the title. I just thought this one had enough buzzwords in it to draw in readers before they realized the reason the success is so “unorthodox” is because it’s succeeding in what most people would consider…not succeeding. Maybe that could be the title…]

[ahem] Let me try that again. …I now present:

Ten Principles to Succeed in Not Succeeding

(No, that’s even worse. I better stick with the original title for now.)

…Anyway, here are the ten principles, at least:

  1. Undervalue your star players and their accomplishments. (There should be an inverse proportion between contribution levels and rewards.)

  2. Ensure that those along for a free ride have the most comfortable accommodations for the journey.

  3. Change your plans constantly…or better yet, shoot from the hip! (Having a plan to begin with is overrated, so if someone attempts to not only make a plan, but stick to it, consistently move the target.)

  4. When it comes to purchase decisions, make sure to be very stingy on the things that actually matter, but blow as much as you possibly can on those things that you can easily do without.

  5. As a corollary to the previous point, ensure that those who are the best at wasting your money are given the most opportunities to do so.

  6. Always value the risky long-shot possibility over the steady and proven results.

  7. If someone has demonstrated a history of success, be careful! They might be approaching a violation to the previous rule. (Surely their winning streak has to end at some point and you don’t want to tempt the inevitable!)

  8. On the other hand, if someone has had ample opportunity to prove themselves and/or time to gain experience—but haven’t—bet on them! (There number has to be up soon!)

  9. If you are in a position of strength, always enter negotiations as though the other party has all the power.

    …and finally:

  10. Never, ever miss an opportunity to allow someone to walk all over you and/or take advantage of you. (Of course, you don’t have to worry about your best people trying to take advantage of you, so do your best to take advantage of them.)