I think people put too much emphasis on “happiness” as a goal. Happiness is fleeting and difficult to identify in the moment.

I think a better aim would be peace and joy. These are not just emotions, but states of being that can persist through other emotions. For example, one can be sad, but at peace (notice the phrasing hints at a “state” as well: feelings are fickle, states less so). One can suffer joyfully.

Every morning, I say the following prayer: “O Lord, I offer you all my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of this day. May I work joyfully and suffer prayerfully”. But I think I have that second part wrong: I should rather work prayerfully (Ignatius, Escriva) and suffer joyfully (every martyr).

I also think when people ask themselves when they are happy, they deceive themselves into thinking they aren’t. It’s as if the very question points to the things that are “wrong” in their life. And at the same time, the question is rarely asked when they actually are happy, so they get a bias that they are never happy (for whenever they ask, they aren’t). It also adds a blind spot, for they reminisce on when they were happier (notice the modifier: not happy, but happier), and in so doing block out the things that at that time made them think they weren’t happy. One could write down on a certain day that they weren’t happy, and then at a later time, point to that day as a time of happiness (for they have forgotten those reasons).

Peace and joy are also not limited by external factors. Happiness seems to depend on a good job, healthy finances, loving relationships, etc. And people always think they will be happy if they could just get a better job, a little more in their bank account, or get along better with their family. But peace and joy can abide/subsist through all of life’s vicissitudes.

So the question becomes, what brings me peace? How can I foster joy?

The answer is found in two variations on a similar statement, from two great saints (Ignatius of Loyola and Alphonsus Liguori, respectively): All for the Greater Glory of God and All for the Greater Good Pleasure of God.

The first points to doing everything for God and the second to accepting what God allows in our life (good or bad). Liguori claims that even curses are blessings.

So we get peace and joy by accepting and carrying out God’s will. In order to be at the most peace and experience the greatest joy, we must align ourselves with God’s will as close as possible (Liguori claims we should aim for not only conformity, but uniformity).

The first difficult part, then, is discerning His will in our lives. (It is difficult to carry out something when we don’t know what to do.)