I read The Call of the Wild by Jack London when I was a child and one phrase has always stuck with me: “ancient primordial beast.” Although we live in a more civilized–if not civil–society, there are many key insights we can gain by looking at our distant ancestors and their motivations.

For example, women are better multitaskers than men because men used to need to focus all of their attention on the hunt. Meanwhile, back at camp, the woman was doing laundry, bouncing a baby on her hip, cooking dinner, and yelling at the other kids. (So in that respect, not much changed until the 1970s.)

Men are wired to carry on the species while women are programmed to protect their offspring. This is why a man is drawn to so many different women, particularly those he finds uniquely attractive, so that those genes may continue. To a certain extent, women are also looking for desirable genes, but even more so, they are looking for a provider and protector. There’s no point having a super baby if he or she won’t survive.

A friend of mine made the very brilliant observation that “Men are in love with either one woman or four. Women are in love with either one man or none.”

Attractiveness changes over time and personality lends much to this. There are women I found physically beautiful at first…until I got to know them. Conversely, there were others whose personality literally changed my opinion of their aesthetic beauty.

Pheremones also play a key role. Someone who knocked me out in person doesn’t look that great in photos, and vice versa.