After a lot of viewing and reading, I’ve compiled some basic truths about spies:

  • They all speak at least a dozen languages and are fluent in some of the most obscure dialects
  • (One or two spies cover the entire world so this is necessary ☝)
  • Meetings happen at locations all over the world for no particularly compelling reason
  • Luckily jet lag isn’t a thing
  • Gadgets and “Op Tech”: not only do they exist, but one guy handles them all
  • Their parents also tend to be master spies and/or double agents
  • It’s easy to manage their actual intelligence work, a cover job, an active social life, and say, post-graduate courses
  • Everyone knows how to diffuse any type of bomb
  • Every fight comes down to drawn-out hand-to-hand combat
  • Yet, they can also knock out anyone with a single punch, kick, or blow to the head if they so choose
  • It’s easy to fight multiple people at once
  • Female agents are all gorgeous and use their feminine wiles to obtain whatever they might need because everyone is susceptible to them
  • Everyone’s a hacker
  • STDs don’t seem to be a thing
  • They never follow any sort of gun safety principles and tend to keep their finger on the trigger at all times
  • Their bolt action rifles are able to fire off multiple shots before re-chambering
  • Any given firearm of theirs seem to have at least double the ammo capacity of regular models, even when it comes to revolvers
  • Which is probably why the odds of killing someone with the first (or often second or third) shot in a game of Russian Roulette is extremely low